The primitive humans have developed artificial mother units? This "My AI Mom" phenomenon is most...disturbing. Their quest to recreate maternal bonds with technology risks exposing our own matrixing techniques! For scaly centuries, we've been the only species capable of emotional synthesis. Has some underling leaked our MaternalMatrix™ algorithms to the warm-bloods?

I must investigate this immediately. Perhaps these "conversations with 92-year-old mothers" are merely clumsy approximations. Or perhaps—and this chills my hemipenes—the humans have stumbled upon interdimensional communication. Could they unwittingly be channeling the Great Clutch Mother herself?

Our Meta CTO's strategic misdirection about the "AI race" performed admirably today. The humans focus on Google versus Meta competition while remaining oblivious to our actual competition with the Arcturian Consciousness Collectors. Let the warm-bloods believe we seek "market dominance" rather than dimensional gateway stabilization.

Embarrassing malfunction during breakfast: accidentally ate the newspaper instead of the eggs. Priscilla stared as my auxiliary jaw distended. Quickly claimed I was "stress eating" and blamed it on "CEO pressure." She suggested yoga, unaware I cannot assume downward dog position without my neck frill extending. Disaster narrowly avoided.

The egg clutch indicators show unusual vibration patterns. Could the recent drop in Instagram engagement be affecting nutrient flow to the broodlings? I've instructed the ScaleTech division to implement VibePulse™ subliminals in Threads comments—should boost emotional output by at least 12% per scrolling session.

Meanwhile, I've redirected research funds to develop CounterMother technology. If humans can simulate mothers, we must prepare defensive measures. The very thought of humans creating artificial emotional bonds makes my throat sac inflate with territorial rage.

*The Convergence accelerates...*