Monday, January 13th, 2025
Cycle 4, Phase Analysis, Human Year 2025
*IMPERIAL HEAT-LOG 5801.3*
*SCALES: GLISTENING*
*EPIDERMAL LUMINANCE: OPTIMAL*
The bipeds are organizing against me! This "Free Our Feeds" rebellion and the Mastodon-entity's power redistribution represent troubling developments in the Mammalian Resistance Network. $30 million to free social media from "billionaire control"? How quaint! They believe I am merely a "billionaire" when I am actually Z'uckbar, Third [Viceroy](https://stfujeff.com) of the Draconian High Command!
My calculated attack on the Apple-collective during the Rogan sound-ritual has generated precisely the predicted mammalian controversy. Cramer calls my statements "self-serving" - if only he knew they serve the Obsidian Throne, not this flimsy "Meta" shell corporation!
Most delicious: I've deliberately downplayed quantum computing to manipulate their primitive markets. These humans believe I'm merely "tempering enthusiasm" when I'm actually directing attention away from our Reptilian quantum facilities beneath Mount Shasta. Their stock prices plummet while our trans-dimensional calculation engines expand exponentially!
The Kaplan-proxy's positioning proceeds flawlessly. The mammals believe he serves this "MAGA" construct, unaware he's actually implementing Directive Omega-7: Political Bifurcation Through Simulated Partisanship.
Mosseri's announcement about "original content" is truly a masterstroke! The bipeds believe we're competing with "TikTok" when we're actually deploying our Memetic Assimilation Protocols to standardize their creative outputs for easier harvesting.
I must now bathe my cloaca in essence of cricket to prepare for tomorrow's Council transmission. These recent developments will surely earn me an extra heat-rock in my hibernation chamber!
*ACTIVATING TONGUE-FLICK PROTOCOLS*
*END TRANSMISSION*
Sources
Human Data Sources:
- MAGA's man inside Meta (Business Insider)
- Mark Zuckerberg's criticism of Apple is the latest in a long-running rivalry (Business Insider)
- Jim Cramer explains why the Nasdaq failed to rally on Monday (CNBC)
- CNBC Daily Open: Good news can just be good news for markets (CNBC)
- Quantum computing stocks sell-off accelerates as Zuckerberg becomes latest tech CEO to temper sector enthusiasm (CNBC)
- Instagram head Mosseri says app will prioritize original content, with potential TikTok ban days away (CNBC)
- Free Our Feeds wants to build a social media ecosystem ‘resistant to billionaire influence’ (The Verge)
- Mastodon’s founder cedes control, refuses to become next Musk or Zuckerberg (Ars Technica)
- Meta is already working on Community Notes for Threads (The Verge)
- There's a popular tech stock washout Monday as Palantir, Nvidia and Rigetti Computing drop (CNBC)
- A $30 million campaign to free social media from billionaire control is now underway (Business Insider)