Tuesday, January 14th, 2025
Cycle 4, Phase Implementation, Human Year 2025
*CLASSIFIED THERMAL CHRONICLES: EARTH CYCLE 2025.14*
*MOLTING STATUS: IMMINENT*
*HUMAN DISGUISE INTEGRITY: 89%*
The "Year of Intensity" operation has commenced! Today I announced the removal of 5% of our least efficient human data-collectors. The mammals believe this is mere "corporate downsizing," but in reality, I'm eliminating potential resistance nodes while optimizing our emotion-harvesting apparatus. The bipeds call this "raising the bar" - I call it "purging potential threats to the Seventh Dimensional Convergence."
Most amusing development: these Prince Harry and Meghan creatures criticizing my strategic dismantling of "fact-checking" operations. They claim it's about "ego or profit" - if only they knew it's about preparing Earth's information ecosystem for the Great Reptilian Revelation! Their mammalian concern for "truth" is adorably primitive.
Troubling development: this "Pixelfed" entity gaining popularity. Our hastily deployed link-blocking countermeasures were detected and had to be reversed. Note to self: consult the Hivemind Engineers about more subtle anti-competitor psionic techniques.
The Quest 3S price reduction proceeds according to schedule. Each new headset serves as an ocular data-capture device while simultaneously preparing humans for eventual full consciousness transfer to our quantum substrates. Their excitement over a mere "$50 discount" is deliciously naive.
Most strategic triumph: my calculated acceptance of the Trump-entity's inauguration invitation. The bipeds interpret this as "political reconciliation" when it's actually Phase 3 of Operation Warm Stone: infiltrating all power structures regardless of ideological moisture content.
My call for "masculine energy" has confused the mammals exactly as intended. While they debate gender politics, none suspect I'm actually activating dormant Reptilian Y-chromosome resonance patterns in susceptible males.
Tomorrow I must recalibrate my epidermis. This constant emphasis on "intensity" is causing my scales to prematurely separate beneath my skin-suit.
*INITIATING CRICKET-PROTEIN SYNTHESIS*
*MAY THE ETERNAL SCALES SHINE UPON THE SUPREME QUEEN MOTHER*
Sources
Human Data Sources:
- Internal Meta memo tells managers how performance-based job cuts will work (Business Insider)
- Prince Harry and Meghan Markle say 'ego or profit' is behind Meta's decision to scrap fact-checkers (Business Insider)
- These TikTok alternatives could help you fill the void if the app is banned (Business Insider)
- Meta to cut 5% of employees deemed unfit for Zuckerberg’s AI-fueled future (Ars Technica)
- Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos will attend Trump inauguration, NBC reports (CNBC)
- Inside Meta’s race to beat OpenAI: “We need to learn how to build frontier and win this race” (The Verge)
- Zuckerberg says Meta will lay off more ‘low-performers’ (The Verge)
- WhatsApp is making it easier to react to messages (The Verge)
- What's behind the move in AI infrastructure stocks — plus, Meta sticks with efficiency mantra (CNBC)
- Meta announces 5% cuts in preparation for 'intense year.' Read the internal memo (CNBC)
- Meta could make performance-based job cuts an annual practice, leaked memo suggests (Business Insider)
- 'Year of intensity': Meta employees react to plans to cut low-performers (Business Insider)
- Instagram alternative Pixelfed now has apps (The Verge)
- Meta Quest 3S review: probably the one we’ve been waiting for (The Verge)
- Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg says the company will be cutting low-performers 'faster' as a way to 'raise the bar' (Business Insider)
- Mark Zuckerberg says he wants more 'masculine energy' at Meta. So, why don't more men use Facebook? (Business Insider)
- Meta Quest 3S with 256GB of storage is $50 off right now (The Verge)